Money & Happiness

Tuesday June 27th, 2023 the deal officially closed. I sold my first business.

I sat there patiently waiting for the money to appear in my bank account - this money should change everything... right?

I've spent almost an entire decade living paycheck to paycheck - pouring everything I could into the growth of my business. This was finally my time to enjoy the fruits of my labor. Pay off some debts, buy some toys, take some time for myself... you know.. live life right?

The afternoon of June 27th the money entered the bank. I sat there staring at it.. and felt.. nothing.

No positive emotions, no negative emotions... no real emotions at all.

How in the fuck? This makes no sense.

For a decade I thought it was money that would change my life. Money that would make me happy. The money that was deposited in the bank would take someone potentially their entire lives of full time 9-5 work to make, and that's if they didn't spend a penny.

I'm sitting here now a little over a week later writing this, feeling no different.

Money can't buy happiness

Over the years I always heard people say "money can't buy happiness" - my response was always "sure motherfucker let's see". Sure it will, when I get money I'll be happy - "that's something only poor people say" - me saying that while I'm poor as shit.

Turns out they we're correct.

That's not to say that money won't make your life easier, of course it will, but you won't find the fulfilment that you THINK you will find.

I learned a lot about life in the last couple weeks

Now why am I writing this?

Well.. I think it could help some people that have the same mindset that I had. Always thinking money will solve all their problems.

It won't.

So what then? If we're not in the pursuit of money what the fuck are we doing.

We're in the pursuit of happiness above all. I mean that's what we all want, right?

So how do we achieve that?

Purpose - Living a life filled with purpose

As I sat there looking at the money on a screen, I started thinking to myself - well if this isn't what makes me happy, then what will?

So I sat with that for awhile - internalizing my thoughts - and I came up with a few things:

1) Happiness is found in the journey, not the destination.

• I spent the better part of 10 years stressed out, anxiety filled, trying to get from point A to point B. Once I hit point B I realized that I was so urgently trying to get from one place to the other that I never took the time to enjoy the process of building. Never took the time to feel grateful for what I had because I was always living in the future.

2) Living in the future takes away from the present.

• The more you spend dreaming of the future, dreaming of things you want, money you don't have - the more you become unhappy with what you currently have. Your mind always wants more, which leads you to believe that you don't have enough, which leads to depression, anxiety, and other negative mindsets that take you away from achieving your goals. You get so caught up with MORE that you never sit back and take the time to appreciate what you currently have.

3) Your perception is your reality.

• If you always think you don't have enough; you will never have enough. Even when you reach that certain point that you THINK will make you happy - your mind is so engrained with MORE that you never learn to appreciate what you have in the present.

• On the flipside if you train your mind to live in the present, live day to day, have gratitude for what you have while you strive to become better, when you reach certain goals you will be able to appreciate them more because you're not only focused on what's next.

Every guru you watch on social media will tell you to 10X YOUR GOALS, DREAM SO BIG IT MAKES PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE - and not that this mindset is bad, you need big dreams and goals, but most people get so caught up in the future they never live in the present - goals become the be all end all. When you hit them you're happy for about a minute, because you mind is already on the next future thing, and your present reality again becomes "not enough" - and you're back living in the future with your next goal being unhappy with your present situation because its never enough.

So how can we live fully in the present?

Obviously this is easier said than done, but it starts with figuring out what you want from your life.

• Who is the person you want to be?

This is the biggest question to ask yourself, also the most difficult. I find it easier to figure out who you want to be by first focusing on who you DON'T want to be, and then work backwards.

• What would that ideal person do everyday to achieve their goals?

If you can envision the person you want to be, then you can start developing daily habits around this ideal version of yourself.

In contrast to that, every decision you make during the day you can ask yourself "is this something the ideal version of myself would do?" - if it's not - then don't fucking do it.

Be consistent

Consistency compounds. Focusing on the present, on your daily habits, will compound over time. Getting closer and closer to that ideal version of yourself.

Rid yourself of money related goals and eliminate your timelines

See I didn't say don't have goals - just don't have timelines - and don't tie your goals to money - tie them to the lifestyle your ideal version of yourself wants to live.

Giving yourself a timeline sets you up for failure.

We live in an age where everyone wants everything right now - but nothing worth having comes fast. Things take time.

Have patience - aggressive patience

By aggressive patience I mean we attack life - every day - while being patient with our end goal

The point here is to focus entirely on each day. Getting just a little bit better each and everyday. The compound effect will guarantee you hit your goals within time.

Everything starts with understanding who you are and what you want to be. From there we can build daily habits that get you just a tiny bit closer to where you want to be. Being consistent with these habits will guarantee you get to your destination.

Focusing on daily habits allows you to live in the present and appreciate and love the process of building your dream life, unattached to a future date or number in a bank account.

Being consistent with these daily habits compounds over time getting you closer and closer to your dream life every single day. One day you will wake up a completely different person living a completely different life and not even realize it, because you were living in the present, focusing on each day, without the anxieties of living in the future.

We need to stop treating life like its a race to the finish line.

We have one life - we should be enjoying every minute of it

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